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zombie_festTitle: Of Ducks and Zombies
Author:chibifukurou
Beta:waltzforanight
Written for:strifechaos
Fandom: NCIS: LA
Characters/Pairings: Eric, G/Sam
Rating: PG13
Warnings: voyeurism, mentions of kinky sex
Author's Notes: The Ducks/Swans in question are origami swans that Sam is shown folding out of G's used lollipop wrappers during one of their stake outs. You can see the scene here
Eric hates the zombie apocalypse, and not just because of the inconveniences of existing without power, modern medicine, or an unlimited food supply. What he hates most is listening to Sam and G fight like five year olds. Every conversation they have seems to revolve around one-upping each other.
Usually he'd be able to commiserate with one of the others about their childish behavior but with Hetty and Nate out acting as envoys to two of the other groups who survived the zombies, he was the one left playing observer to Sam and G's latest bout of arguing.
If he wasn't so scared of Hetty's reaction he'd turn the security cameras mounted around the lobby off and ignore the entire debacle. Instead, he settles himself further into his desk chair, takes a sip of the watery tea he's been forced to drink since their meager coffee supplies ran out, and begins to work on a particularly difficult programming problem. He almost manages to forget that G and Sam are in the building until a particularly out of place comment involving ducks jerks his attention back to the screens that show the cavernous interior of their office turned stronghold's lobby.
G and Sam are sitting on one of the many couches scattered around the lobby, cuddled together in a way that makes Eric feel like a voyeur for watching and there isn't a duck in sight. Still, the comment he half heard is enough to keep his eyes glued to the screen and his ears straining to hear something more about ducks over the low quality audio feed the security cameras pick up.
It takes a few minutes for him to figure out what's going on since G is too busy whispering something naughty in Sam's ear but the wait is worth it since G returns to his and Sam's earlier conversation after he succeeds in making Sam blush.
“Enough with the ducks already, you have to have over 300 of them and they've started overtaking our bedroom. I'm not sleeping with you while a bunch of mutated paper ducks watch.”
“Oh come on, G, you're overreacting. We've had sex in safe houses when zombies were on the other side of the door and you're freaking out about my origami swans watching us?”
Well, Eric had to admit that they didn't exactly act like five year olds, since they couldn't seem to keep from discussing their sex lives. Still, he should have known that the two of them would be talking about Sam's origami avians. Discussing Sam's collection seemed to be a favorite form of foreplay between the two of them.
“Oh, so you think it's ridiculous of me to draw the line at having sex in front of ducks made out of food wrappers?”
“You know that's not what I meant, G. I'm just saying that I'd think having sex in front of a bunch of zombies would be freakier than making out in front of paper swans.”
“Then you've never tried to get it up while staring at a bunch of birds. It's not exactly passion inspiring.”
“And zombies are?”
“The zombies weren't in our bedroom, Sam. Now if you want to have any sex for the next two weeks, move your flock out of the bedroom. Or at least off your nightstand.”
“Where am I supposed to put them? It's not like we have anywhere else to keep them, and I'm working on folding 1,000 of them so don't bother recommending that I 'dispose' of them.”
“I'm not asking you to get rid of them. I just want you to find somewhere else to put them. How about the Lobby? I'm sure Hetty would get a kick out of them.”
“How about I promise to think about it and we discuss it later?”
“What will you give me if I let you keep the ducks in our bedroom a little longer?”
“What do you want?”
“How about we have a little fun in Hetty's office?” G said rubbing against Sam in a lewd manner.
Eric couldn't help sharing the incredulous look Sam was giving G. Some things were sacred, even after the apocalypse, and Hetty's office was definitely one of them.
Finally, Sam got his voice back “Are you out of your mind?!”
That, of course, just makes G smile. Eric had always known he was crazy, but not this crazy. Still, it was highly amusing to see a big, tough marine like Sam cower in fear as G untangled himself from Sam's arms, stood up, and began to drag Sam off towards Hetty's office.
Eric couldn't help wondering if G was going to uncover the window in Hetty's office so that the zombies could watch them. Then he decided that he really didn't want to know, and switched off the security camera in Hetty's office.
Hetty might yell at him for breaking regulations and turning off a camera but that was better than watching Sam and G make out - or more - against one of the walls of Hetty's office. Or even worse on Hetty's desk. If he watched that, he wouldn't be able to look G, Sam, or Hetty in the eyes ever again.
Author:
chibifukurouBeta:
waltzforanightWritten for:
strifechaos Fandom: NCIS: LA
Characters/Pairings: Eric, G/Sam
Rating: PG13
Warnings: voyeurism, mentions of kinky sex
Author's Notes: The Ducks/Swans in question are origami swans that Sam is shown folding out of G's used lollipop wrappers during one of their stake outs. You can see the scene here
Eric hates the zombie apocalypse, and not just because of the inconveniences of existing without power, modern medicine, or an unlimited food supply. What he hates most is listening to Sam and G fight like five year olds. Every conversation they have seems to revolve around one-upping each other.
Usually he'd be able to commiserate with one of the others about their childish behavior but with Hetty and Nate out acting as envoys to two of the other groups who survived the zombies, he was the one left playing observer to Sam and G's latest bout of arguing.
If he wasn't so scared of Hetty's reaction he'd turn the security cameras mounted around the lobby off and ignore the entire debacle. Instead, he settles himself further into his desk chair, takes a sip of the watery tea he's been forced to drink since their meager coffee supplies ran out, and begins to work on a particularly difficult programming problem. He almost manages to forget that G and Sam are in the building until a particularly out of place comment involving ducks jerks his attention back to the screens that show the cavernous interior of their office turned stronghold's lobby.
G and Sam are sitting on one of the many couches scattered around the lobby, cuddled together in a way that makes Eric feel like a voyeur for watching and there isn't a duck in sight. Still, the comment he half heard is enough to keep his eyes glued to the screen and his ears straining to hear something more about ducks over the low quality audio feed the security cameras pick up.
It takes a few minutes for him to figure out what's going on since G is too busy whispering something naughty in Sam's ear but the wait is worth it since G returns to his and Sam's earlier conversation after he succeeds in making Sam blush.
“Enough with the ducks already, you have to have over 300 of them and they've started overtaking our bedroom. I'm not sleeping with you while a bunch of mutated paper ducks watch.”
“Oh come on, G, you're overreacting. We've had sex in safe houses when zombies were on the other side of the door and you're freaking out about my origami swans watching us?”
Well, Eric had to admit that they didn't exactly act like five year olds, since they couldn't seem to keep from discussing their sex lives. Still, he should have known that the two of them would be talking about Sam's origami avians. Discussing Sam's collection seemed to be a favorite form of foreplay between the two of them.
“Oh, so you think it's ridiculous of me to draw the line at having sex in front of ducks made out of food wrappers?”
“You know that's not what I meant, G. I'm just saying that I'd think having sex in front of a bunch of zombies would be freakier than making out in front of paper swans.”
“Then you've never tried to get it up while staring at a bunch of birds. It's not exactly passion inspiring.”
“And zombies are?”
“The zombies weren't in our bedroom, Sam. Now if you want to have any sex for the next two weeks, move your flock out of the bedroom. Or at least off your nightstand.”
“Where am I supposed to put them? It's not like we have anywhere else to keep them, and I'm working on folding 1,000 of them so don't bother recommending that I 'dispose' of them.”
“I'm not asking you to get rid of them. I just want you to find somewhere else to put them. How about the Lobby? I'm sure Hetty would get a kick out of them.”
“How about I promise to think about it and we discuss it later?”
“What will you give me if I let you keep the ducks in our bedroom a little longer?”
“What do you want?”
“How about we have a little fun in Hetty's office?” G said rubbing against Sam in a lewd manner.
Eric couldn't help sharing the incredulous look Sam was giving G. Some things were sacred, even after the apocalypse, and Hetty's office was definitely one of them.
Finally, Sam got his voice back “Are you out of your mind?!”
That, of course, just makes G smile. Eric had always known he was crazy, but not this crazy. Still, it was highly amusing to see a big, tough marine like Sam cower in fear as G untangled himself from Sam's arms, stood up, and began to drag Sam off towards Hetty's office.
Eric couldn't help wondering if G was going to uncover the window in Hetty's office so that the zombies could watch them. Then he decided that he really didn't want to know, and switched off the security camera in Hetty's office.
Hetty might yell at him for breaking regulations and turning off a camera but that was better than watching Sam and G make out - or more - against one of the walls of Hetty's office. Or even worse on Hetty's desk. If he watched that, he wouldn't be able to look G, Sam, or Hetty in the eyes ever again.
